A SLEEP EXPERT’S GUIDE TO THE FOURTH TRIMESTER
Meet Claire Fair. Not only does her name rhyme so magically, she’s got all the magic to help you navigate the wild waters of newborn sleep! She’s the founder of the gentle sleep coach and we’re lucky enough to be able to share some of her vast knowledge with you, our first hello family.
First up… THE FOURTH TRIMESTER. Have you heard this term before? It’s the first few months of your baby’s life on the outside. And just like the trimesters before it, when you’re pregnant, there are some distinctives to observe and be aware of. The phrase is attributed to Dr. Harvey Karp, a pediatrician who theorised that human babies are born about three months too early. So without further ado… here’s Claire’s tips for surviving the season.
The first few months of your baby’s life can be a huge adjustment — not just for them but also for you and your partner! Unfortunately, Newborns don’t come with instructions.
If you are anything like me, you may have walked into the fourth trimester without much information about sleep. So let’s take the guesswork out and talk about what to expect when it comes to your baby’s sleep during the first four months.
SCATTERED IS NORMAL
Firstly, it’s important to understand that sleep during the fourth trimester can be really scattered. Up until now, your baby’s body clock was linked to your sleep. During the first 4 months, they are still developing their own circadian rhythm and melatonin. This means that sleep can be a little all over the place and it is really common to experience:
Shorter, more frequent naps
Long consolidated naps
Regular night wakes
Late bedtimes
Middle of the night parties
AWAKE TIMES & ROUTINE
Because sleep will naturally be really disjointed, it can be tough to implement a routine. Instead of focusing on a schedule, it can really help to learn your baby’s unique tired cues. This will help you know what suits them in terms of awake times to ensure they aren’t overtired.
Your baby’s awake time is counted from the time they wake and also includes feeds and nappy changes. We want to make sure baby is asleep at the end of their awake time, so it can really help to prepare them for sleep in the 10-15 minutes before their awake time is up.
TIRED CUES
Awake times are amazing guides, but each baby’s sleep needs are unique. So we also really want to keep an eye out for their cues! These cues are your baby’s way of communicating their sleep needs and if we can spot them, it can really help to find your baby’s sweet spot when it comes to sleep!
If you feel your baby’s tired cues are hard to spot, keep an eye out for them around 15 minutes before the end of your baby’s average awake time.
Here’s what to look for:
“I’m getting tired”:
Distant stare
Glassy eyes
Red eyebrows & forehead
Avoiding eye contact
Turning their head away
Extra vocalisation
“Oh, I’m ready”:
Hiccups
Yawning
Rubbing their eyes
Jerky movements
Robotic movements
Whinging
“Dang, you missed it”:
Crying
Thrashing
Arching their back
DAY NIGHT CONFUSION
Does it seem like your baby is wanting to sleep all day and party all night? This is commonly known as day/night confusion. And YES — it is absolutely a real thing! Remember, your newborn hasn’t established their circadian rhythm yet so this can mean their days and nights can quite literally flip! To help get this on track, you can try:
Waking them very 2-3 hours for feeds and play through the day
Exposing them to sunlight during their awake times in the day
Lots of play and stimulation in the daytime
Dimming the lights in the house an hour before bedtime
Keeping nights as dark and non-stimulating as possible and opting for a red based light for night feeds
THEY ONLY WANT TO SLEEP ON YOU
Babies attach through their senses for the first year of their life. Their very survival depends on them being in close, sensory proximity to you as their primary caregiver. This makes it really tough for them to sleep alone. It might mean that your baby may act like they hate the bassinet, will only do short stretches of sleep when they aren’t held and are hard to settle when they aren’t in your arms. Remember, this is 100% normal newborn behaviour and absolutely will not cause any ‘bad habits’! If you enjoy it, embrace the contact – a good baby carrier can be a life saver for this season!
If you are wanting to encourage some arms-free sleep, that is more than okay! There are some things you can do to help!
Ensuring their sleep space smells like you (try sleeping with their sheet).
Warm the bassinet before placing them in (remember to remove the heat pack before baby is in the cot).
Consider holding them for 20 minutes and transferring after so they are going down in deep sleep.
If you do want independent sleep, don’t be discouraged if its short. Any stretch in the cot is a huge win! I would always suggest aiming for just one nap a day to start until your baby feels a little more confident in their sleep space!
MY #1 TIP
If there is one piece of advice I can leave you with, it’s to hold sleep loosely during these first few months. Don’t feel bad for holding your baby or worry if they aren’t asleep by 7pm. Let go of the stress around settling and surrender to the season, it will pass sooner than you know!
Easier said than done I know, so if sleep is feeling overwhelming, my DM’s are always open — slide on in! I am always around for a chat